quote:

Originally posted by Richard Butler In the meantime I've taken that delicious riff Bluff Monkey made for Massive and come up with this so far;

Cool track, Richard. I gotta disagree with Tyler James about the awkwardness at 2:40 - that little gap before the synth comes blazing back in is pretty tasty IMO. Depending on where this goes after the end, the lead synth could potentially get a little fatiguing if it repeats much more.

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quote:

Originally posted by Tyler James Tell me, what's wrong with it?

Not keen on that ghoulish laughing sample at all - totally cheeses up what is an otherwise pretty nice sounding song. The piano is actually very cool, but the 4/floor dance drums feel out of place. I would try something with more of a breakbeat feel, some syncopation and, as Richard mentioned, more variety. Just a suggestion, but maybe a less abrupt attack on the saw lead/bass would work a little better? Basically, these little nitpicks are designed to just help emphasize the piano, because these other elements sorta detract from the piano in their current state.

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quote:

Originally posted by meriter okay this is done, thanks tyler for saying how repetitive the middle part was, the changes I made ended up being my favorite part of the track

Very cool

This reminds me of something out of a Japanese RPG game, but then with some not quite so DnB in there as well, with some added electric bass and weirdness. Very nicely done.

quote:

Originally posted by Tyler James Tell me, what's wrong with it?

I agree with Richard here. The piano and synthetic elements are nicely done. Perhaps use a bit more in the way of EQ and reverb to enhance and isolate them into their own space. It's the drums that aren't quite there for me though, being a bit 'loopy' as Richard says. The track is begging for some more in the way of weird synthetic drums imo.

quote:

Originally posted by Richard Butler In the meantime I've taken that delicious riff Bluff Monkey made for Massive and come up with this so far;

I'm torn here.

I like where you're going with it, but I think the parts I gave you are fighting with your own interpretation. I think that's down to my original 6/8 tempo against your 4/4 beatz, and also the fact that you have wet renders that aren't necessarily sitting right with the rest of the elements. Also, you can't do any filter modulation etc.

Perhaps you need the midi (although I bet you can work it out in seconds lol) and also if you have Massive I'll give you the patches so you can run it dry and mess with the filters etc.

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I don't usually post WIP's, but since this is sorta new territory for me (and a new singer), I figured I'd get some feedback before finishing this one off.

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quote:

Originally posted by cryophonik I don't usually post WIP's, but since this is sorta new territory for me (and a new singer), I figured I'd get some feedback before finishing this one off.

Splendid poppery in the making again Dave, but is it just me or is there an issue with bass/synth tuning, and maybe even some of the vocals in the chorus parts?

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Originally posted by tehlord Splendid poppery in the making again Dave, but is it just me or is there an issue with bass/synth tuning, and maybe even some of the vocals in the chorus parts?

There's two different basses - the sustained one that pitchbends downward during the verses, intro, etc., and the stabbier chorus bass. Maybe the pitchbent one is throwing you off???

The chorus vocals are made up of 9 different layers of vocals (4 lower, 4 higher harmony spread across the stereo field, plus the lead centered vox). They've been lightly pitch-corrected, but maybe I need to tune their pitches to each other a little more.

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It happens first time at 57 seconds where the middle note of the bass triad appears to clash a little with the synth stabs. It's also the vocal part just after where the word 'wrongs' feels a semitone too high.

It could just be me though

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quote:

Originally posted by tehlord It's also the vocal part just after where the word 'wrongs' feels a semitone too high.

I hear what you're saying. I think it's the way that she bends the notes. I'll take a look at that and see if one of the other takes works better. I'm not hearing any pitch problem with the bass, though. But, I do have a *touch* of pitch modulation on the attack to give it a less synthetic sound, so maybe I'll dial that back a notch or two and see if that helps.

BTW, I just met Amy a few weeks ago and this is the first time she's ever written a complete song and/or recorded anything. She's 31, been singing and writing lyrics since she was a tot, and she pounds out lyrics like there's no tomorrow! We've got two other songs in the works already.

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quote:

Originally posted by cryophonik

0:58 is out of tune
1:12 is also out of tune
1:37 is also out of tune
etc...
One part of the bassline is also out of tune, if we count 16 beats the 12th is out of tune.

There is too much focus on the singer, I would focus more on the drums if you want to go for the liquid dnb style. Also without the vocal the track will sound really generic because it's just a few plucks, needs alot more depth.

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Last edited by Deillon on Oct-14-2013 at 18:04

quote:

Originally posted by Deillon There is too much focus on the singer, I would focus more on the drums if you want to go for the liquid dnb style. Also without the vocal the track will sound really generic because it's just a few plucks, needs alot more depth.

I hear what you're saying, but I'm not really going for a strict liquid dnb style. Yeah, it's obviously influenced by it, but I tend to stick to my own style (which heavily emphasizes the vocalist), rather than try to compartmentalize my music into some pre-defined limits of a genre. I do agree that, musically, it's rather sparse to make room for lots of vocals. I have an alternate version that I came up with last night that has a few more synth parts (mostly pads in the verses/bridge/synth solo), but I'm sorta resting on it for a few days to see if I like it. I may post it later. Thanks for checking it out.

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quote:

Originally posted by cryophonik I hear what you're saying. I think it's the way that she bends the notes. I'll take a look at that and see if one of the other takes works better. I'm not hearing any pitch problem with the bass, though. But, I do have a *touch* of pitch modulation on the attack to give it a less synthetic sound, so maybe I'll dial that back a notch or two and see if that helps. BTW, I just met Amy a few weeks ago and this is the first time she's ever written a complete song and/or recorded anything. She's 31, been singing and writing lyrics since she was a tot, and she pounds out lyrics like there's no tomorrow! We've got two other songs in the works already.

It's going to be a subtle 'issue' as I couldn't nail down exactly what part of what note was jarring with my ear, and if it was just plain wrong that would have been easy. And as if you'd get it wrong

I actually think the vocals could come forward a little bit (as this is a WIP). There's probably a little bit too much in the 200hz range and not enough in the 8k+ air range to bring her forward a little bit more.

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